I’ve always been somewhat of a moody person and now I know why: my happiness neurotransmitters hate me. While I’ve learned to manage my feelings in an effort to reduce stress, I sometimes still find myself looking around and thinking to myself, “if only murdering you wouldn’t send me past Go and directly to jail…”
I’ve never killed anyone, though, because there are cameras everywhere and I’d probably get caught. I also have balance issues and would probably fall into the blood, not notice and subsequently leave a path to my hideout. In addition, it’s just not nice to murder someone just because they cut you off or because they got your food order wrong. Even if their only job is to get your food order correct.
Of course, a lot of times the anger is directed at myself and that’s the worst. You know, because I’m not flexible enough to kick myself in the face. But if therapy has taught me anything, it’s that it is not what happens to you but how you react. Over the years, I’ve developed a solid list of stress-reducing reactions. These are a few of the things I do to help me respond to life like a normal human and not an uncontrollable sexy vampire out for blood.
Walk it out
I like to walk my dog, Ninja. Ninja is a stunning creature and puts a smile on anyone who passes him. Usually seeing how happy he makes other people makes me happy that he is mine. His face also makes me feel calmer because he loves unconditionally and we can all learn a thing or two about that.
Figure out the source
I like to figure out what’s making me feel so blue. And by that I mean I obsess over my problem until I figure out a solution. I like to do this while I’m walking Ninja.
Let’s drink, shall we?
I love sangria. Drinking it gives me a headache because it’s too damn sweet but once I get past that and am comfortably tipsy, I forget about the headache and the problem. Avoid drinking if your doctor, nutrionist or AA sponsor objects but once in a while, we all just need to forget about life and get drunk.
Let’s drink some more, shall we?
obsessing figuring out the root of my anger while at home, I sometimes opt to drink some chamomile tea. It has healing properties and acts as a mild muscle relaxant that can help relieve stress, anxiety and even depression. It might even put you to sleep and if you’re sleeping you can’t be angry. Unless your subconscious hates you too and you dream about what’s making you angry. But don’t think about that. Just drink the tea and it will all be okay.
Let’s talk it through
I like to talk mad shit about the person who is pissing me off to my bestie. If I’m right, she will agree but if I’m wrong she will tell it to me straight. Either way I always feel better after a chat with my bestie.
Talk to myself in a reasonable and calm voice
I like to engage in some good ole’ fashioned cognitive therapy. This is my favorite because it lasts the longest. Basically I just try to talk my way out of a bad mood with logic. What’s logic? Not really sure but I think it’s when you use only the facts without adding any of your own personal stories you make up in your mind.
Let’s get physical
Sometimes I like to work out to calm down. Just kidding! This is what experts recommend but I’ve never found it to work for me. Yoga is too slow and annoys me and anything too physical annoys me as well. The only time I workout to get rid of a bad mood is if I feel the need to leave the house or if I’m in a bad mood because I haven’t been working out. This is rare since I rather talk, walk and drink.
How do you deal with anger? Tell me in the comments!