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Anti-Inflammation Rehab: 10 Steps To Quitting Sugar

10 Steps To Quitting Sugar

By now you know I’m addicted to sugar. It’s a real struggle because all I want is the sweet nectar of a Lindt classic milk chocolate with almonds bar every single day. I can’t say no and I can’t be taken anywhere with sweets, because I will eat them all. I even took candy from a child this past Halloween. Don’t worry, I knew this child and while I did not steal his delicious candy, I was wearing an intimidating adult mask.

But this can’t go on, for several reasons. The first being that sugar kills. The second is that refined sugars cause inflammation in the entire body and this causes enzymes that break down collagen and elastin, resulting in sagging skin and wrinkles. The third is that it makes me feel like a sad dot hopping her way to a Zoloft prescription.

Here’s how I will overcome, since it’s necessity at this point.

1. Google “How to quit sugar”

Here is what I found:

Two anti-sugar articles plus one that tries to convince me that my detox is just a phase I’ll very quickly move on from is the perfect recipe for success.

I absorb the information and move on to step 2.

2. Make a do’s and don’ts food plan.

Will Eat: Fruits, I guess.

Won’t Eat: Anything that I crave.

3. Write a pep talk.

For when I feel like this experiment into being a healthy person is taking too much of my time.

Diana, you can do this. Your brain feels like a finger hosting a too-tight bandaid when you eat too much sugar. Stop making yourself feel like shit for the short high. JUST STOP IT, loser. 

4. Write another pep talk.

To apologize for calling self a loser because that is a trigger that leads me straight into the arms of KitKatt, a gorgeous treat full of wafer goodness.

You are not a loser. Everyone falls off the lifestyle wagon. BECAUSE IT’S NOT ORGANIC OR NATURAL to be this perfect. Get back up there, champ! You can do it! 

4. Develop a healthy relationship with that bland motherfucker, water.

Water is good for you. It’s refreshing. It’s full of wonderful healthy chemicals found naturally on Earth.

Water. Good. Drink. Now.

5. Refrain from saying things like “My water needs more chemicals.”

While 4-methylimidazole sounds like an amazing time, deep down inside I know it’s not.

6. Wonder why it’s preferred to be a refined person but not a refined person who smothers herself with refined sugar.

Do refined persons not indulge obsessively with refined sugars? Showoffs.

7. Think about the bad timing of this anti-sugar, anti-inflammatory lifestyle change.

The holidays are coming up! It’s rude not to eat at least five pastries, especially if the person baked them just for you. (Here’s looking at you master baker, Liz F.)

8. Realize that being an adult means sacrificing a good time for the greater good.

Being an adult sucks SO MUCH.

9. Read articles about how to spend the holidays NOT in a food coma.

Find said articles in every single lady magazine and blog.

10. DON’T EAT SUGARY JUNKFOOD

Quitting something means not doing it anymore. It really is that simple. Just don’t fucking eat it! Have the willpower to JUST. SAY. MAYBE NEXT TIME. When next time comes along, say the same thing. Repeat until you give in. And when you give in, refer to #4.

Of course there are more empathetic tips for people who are genuinely looking for support in their quest to quit sugar. This is not that post and for that I apologize.

But check back shortly to see how I’m doing without the sugar. I have taken baby steps by simply not buying the chocolate bar every day but hope to advance in my efforts by not buying it every other day either.

One day at a time, folks. It’s always about taking it one day at a time.

About My Exciting Sugar Addiction

sugar addiction

Hello, my name is Diana and I am addicted to sugar. I wasn’t always a sugar addict, or at least I never thought I was. I’ve always preferred salty over sweet so it never occurred to me that I might have a problem.

But I do have a problem. And that problem is that I can get addicted to anything that is addictive and then I can live in a fog and justify my bad habits by not realizing they are bad habits. The heroin addict knows he is an addict. Because it’s heroin. But the sugar addict who hides Juicy Fruit from her husband, The Anti-Sugar Crusader*, so that she can enjoy 30 seconds of eternal sugar bliss without judgement is just a regular person who hides food. It’s really hard to see that as a legitimate issue.

But wait, there’s more. It’s not just Juicy Fruit. Besides the gum, I have stuffed my face with chocolate bars, chocolate ice cream, halva, gummy bears, gummy rings, Never-Greek La Yogurt and chocolate-covered Oreo’s (or chocolate-covered cocaine if you know what’s good). I also take my sugar with coffee, which is a whole notha’ addiction.

Anywho, I realize now that I was indulging in sugar because I was stressed. And this is how I deal with stress: bad habits. Basically, my entire life is one giant bad habit. And so I embark on another journey of change. This time it will be more manageable because  it involves me not doing something, which I’m really good at it.

Please stay tuned for my next post: Anti-Inflammation Rehab: 10 Steps To Quitting Sugar 

Sugar IS inflammatory and I know this is true because the experts say so and also because my head feels like it’s throbbing like a finger that is hosting a too-tight bandaid.

Addicted To Sugar

Juicy Fruit gum consists mostly of sugar contained in a synthetic gum base. Other ingredients include corn syrup and dextrose as bulk agents and natural sweeteners, natural and artificial flavorings, glycerol and lecithin as softening agents, aspartame (NutraSweet) and acesulfame K as artificial sweeteners (in the sugar-free variety), Yellow Lake 5 as a coloring and BHT as a preservative.

GROSS, right? SAY NO TO JUICY FRUIT. Regular healthy humans shouldn’t be chewing this bullshit goodness garbage, much less someone with a compromised autoimmune system.

*The Anti-Sugar Crusader wears a cape made from my wasted paper towels. 

Dear Cheese, Goodbye.

One of the saddest breakups in the history of breakups is the dissolution of marriage between myself and cheese. Oh, how I loved cheese. Ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch with Poly-O String cheese for dessert. Double cheeseburger meals from McDonald’s. Cheese pizza with extra cheese. Even though I ate peasant cheese, it was still a huge part of my being.

But then MS happened and shit got real. Real real. I had to change my lifestyle because apparently I would be safer walking on the wires of the Brooklyn Bridge without a harness than continuing my hungover teenage-boyesque eating habits. While diet is not an FDA-approved treatment and most doctors scoff at nutritional healing not created by Pfizer, I decided to take a holistic approach to feeling better. Christina, my new acupuncturist and official sponser of my Chi, gave me a crash course in healthy anti-inflammatory eating and it has made all the difference.

On the See How You Feel & Then Eat It List – Eggs & corn
On the Meat List: Hormone free & organic meat preferred
On the Eat A Lot of This Sh*T List – Omega 3’s (wild salmon), fruits, veggies and some meats.
On the Hell No NEVER EAT THIS SH*T List – Gluten, processed sugar (white sugar), dairy, high fructose corn syrup, processed & packaged foods

What?! Cheese is bad for everyone?! I love cheese! And bread! I love cheese, bread and sugar together! Mmmm mmm. 

No, cheese and bread is bad for me although I’m sure you’ll find your body isn’t a fan of either if you were to do a cleanse. On the other hand, you very well may be able to swim in a sexy hot tub full of bread, cheddar and sugar for a guilt-free orgy with no repercussions. I doubt it though.

dairy free lifestlye

I interviewed Christina to better understand why inflammatory foods such as wheat and dairy are so devilish, especially for those with reckless autoimmune systems. This is what she had to say.

Diana: Why does Chinese medicine have beef with inflammatory foods?

Christina: Chinese Medicine works on treating imbalances in the body, focusing on our internal environment which is quite similar to the external environment we know including: heat, dryness, dampness, cold, and wind. As with external environmental factors, internal factors affect us just as much. As the saying goes “We are what we eat.”

Diana: If that’s the case, I used to be a bottle of Pepsi and a delicious bag of Sour Cream and Onion potato chips. But let’s not get off topic here. Tell me more about inflammation.

Christina: Inflammation impacts how our body’s system functions. Inflammation affects our digestive system, immune system, endocrine system, mental health, cardiovascular system, skin, and so much more. In general it is best to eliminate inflammatory foods so our bodies can stay healthy, happy, and function optimally.

Diana: Please refresh my memory and tell me why I’m supposed to just say NO to dairy. 

Christina: Dairy creates an excess of phlegm and mucous which affects the flow of qi (or energy) in our body. It’s like a clogged drain and the water can’t go down. The back up that accumulates, over time, can create inflammation and disease. Many people can’t break down lactose which is a sugar found in milk and milk-derived dairy products. Once again, if our body can’t process something properly inflammation can occur.

anti inflammatory diet ideas

Diana: This certainly can’t apply to everyone. What’s the best way to tell if your body can’t process certain foods?

Christina: Elimination is the best way and then slowly adding foods back to see how you feel. I recommend cutting foods out for at least two weeks. Most likely once you know how great you feel without a certain food you’ll be less likely to eat it. There are also food allergy tests that can be done.

Diana: So much to learn, so little time. So what’s the difference between being allergic and being sensitive to a food?

Christina: Many people have sensitivities to foods and just don’t pay attention – other then feeling bloated, low energy, headachy, spacey, or just bad after eating certain foods. With allergies one may have sudden swelling of the tongue, throat, eyes, or mouth which can be fatal for some. An EpiPen is recommended for those with food allergies.

When I tried cheese after my cleanse, I got a headache so bad it felt like aliens were trying to probe my brain for answers and then kick me when they realized they picked the wrong human. That is why I stay away although it’s harder in the summer. Lately I’ve been giving in to dishes I once loved (hello there, caprese salad), despite the often uncomfortable headaches that follow. Cheese and I are still divorced though but sometimes we bang on the side, you know? In other words, cheese is my side piece.

But my main piece is healthy eating so here are a few anti-inflammatory meal ideas if you’re interested in eating clean.

    1. 20 Grilled & Baked Salmon Recipes via Health.com
    2. 7 Day Anti-Inflammatory Meal Plan via Healthline.com
    3. Foods That Heal: An Anti Inflammatory Cookbook via Food.com
    4. Famous Chefs’ Recipes for Your Anti-Inflammatory Diet via Lifescript
    5. Vegan Veggie White Pizza, Light & Easy Lettuce Wraps, & Gluten-Free and Vegan Risotto via Go Dairy Free

Are you on any special diet or do you fight against the machine? Let me know in the comments. And after you do that, please subscribe to get new posts in your inbox. Click here to sign up! Just do it. You won’t regret it.

 

 

A Gluten Free Fourth of July

Gluten Free recipes, recipes without gluten, gluten free desserts

Happy Birthday, USA! I love you and your whorish ways and I’m going to celebrate the shit out of your birthday.

And by that I mean I’m going to avoid any food that contains gluten or dairy and will tell anyone who will listen about my fabulous gluten free lifestyle. Just kidding. I’m probably going to have a cheat day and eat so much bread that I’ll be forced to tell anyone who will listen about how guilty I feel about cheating on my fabulous gluten free lifestyle.

And for those of you who are better than I, here are 19 fab gluten free recipes for the fourth of July. Enjoy!

10 Fourth of July Gluten Free Recipes by Elana’s Pantry
4th of July Sugar Cookie by Play 2 Learn with Sarah 
Red, White, & Blue Quinoa Pudding by Dr. Andrea R. Hoglen
Flo’s Gluten Free Sour Cream Berry Pie by Gluten Free Canteen
4th of July Festive Gluten Free Chocolate Cupcake Bites by Gluten Free Canteen
Vegan & Gluten Free 4th of July Cheesecake by Free People Blog
Gluten-Free 4th of July Popsicles by Tasterie
10 Gluten Free Hamberger Bun Options by About.com
Gluten Free BBQ Sauce by Everyone Needs Dinner Ideas
Gluten Free Grilled Corn on the Cob with Honey Cilantro Lime Butter by Living Without

What’s your favorite gluten free recipe?