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Cilantro, Is That You?

I wrote this at a Gotham Writer’s Workshop Write-In in Brooklyn, New York. It was five writers hanging out at Two Moons Cafe, writing freestyle stories based on prompts by Amy Shearn, writer of the acclaimed, The Mermaid of Brooklyn: A Novel.

The first prompt was cilantro and this is my story.

Cilantro

Before I met my husband, I thought Cilantro was the name of the pizza guy.

“Babe, did you put cilantro in the guacamole?”

“Why would I do that?! Cilantro has done nothing bad to me!”

Death stare.

Okay, so as a Russian Jew raised by a tired mother, I was never privy to the mouth watering herb that would complete the Spanish side dish. Sue me! My husband, on the other hand, is a half Spanish, half Italian cilantro loving fella. I just had to figure out how to tease his taste buds in the kitchen.

“What’s for dinner?”

“Cilantro.”

“What?”

“Cilantro and quinoa. It’s just a salad I’ve created. Just for you!”

Death stare.

How rude but really, it’s fine. We can’t win them all.

But I must admit that I am proud of how far I’ve come. I used to have to Google pictures of cilantro to make sure I was buying the proper herb. Sure, supermarkets label their greens but I made sure to be diligent. Now I no longer Google and let my other senses take over. I am now familiar with how it looks, smells and feels.

To most this is basic but to me it is an accomplishment to know that cilantro is an herb and not a man.

Is that you cilantro?!

Joe Manganiello

 

No, I’m over here! Aren’t I’m sexier?

Cilantro

No.

joem

But I smell pretty!

Cilantro

FINE. I’ll take you both.

cilantroandcilantro

 

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6 Comments on Cilantro, Is That You?

  1. RogueNYC
    July 24, 2013 at 5:11 pm (4 years ago)

    I love cilantro… the green kind. This made me LOL, thank you!

    Reply
    • imtoofancy
      July 25, 2013 at 1:18 pm (4 years ago)

      No, thank YOU! Thanks for reading, laughing and loving cilantro!

      Reply
  2. Val
    July 24, 2013 at 6:34 pm (4 years ago)

    I love cilantro too… the man kind. I think you should cut your mom some slack. Russian jews don’t eat cilantro. We eat dill. Perhaps you can teach that spanish/italiano of yours the ways of the dill as well.

    Reply
    • imtoofancy
      July 25, 2013 at 1:19 pm (4 years ago)

      I don’t know a think about this dill. I’ll Google it. But yes, you’re right. I shouldn’t be so hard on her but alas, I just didn’t know better.

      Reply
  3. Yana
    July 25, 2013 at 12:23 pm (4 years ago)

    Ha!!! Omg totally can relate! I had a similar experience .
    Obviously bc I am too an immigrant and was dating
    Someone who a) is an exceptional cook and b) who at that time
    (and maybe even now)had more English vocabulary than me.
    My “mystery man” was arugula not to be mixed with
    Rugelach (which is a Jewish desert ) and what I brought when he clearly asked me to bring arugula. I too googled it but I guess you have to know the spelling of these mystery items lol oh well. We live and we learn! 🙂 love the visuals! My arugula would look just like that hottie!

    Reply
    • imtoofancy
      July 25, 2013 at 1:20 pm (4 years ago)

      Haha! That’s very funny and I’m sure you had a good laugh over it. It’s not your fault you heard wrong, it’s his fault he spoke wrong. 🙂

      Reply

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