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Doubt Kills More Dreams Than Failure Ever Could

doubt kills more dreams
Vinny and I accidentally watched JOBS this weekend. Long story short – the human at the counter gave us the wrong tickets and we didn’t check them. We were sitting in the theater, waiting to be scared when Ashton Kutcher walked onto the screen in a turtle neck to talk about the new iPod. Some might argue we did see a scary movie but it wasn’t as awful as some folks make it out to be.

The movie was alright. Ashton Kutcher did a good job passing as Jobs in terms of mannerisms and appearance but it was difficult to suspend disbelief because of his voice. He was just too obviously Ashton. But that’s not even why the movie was bad. It was bad because it was inaccurate and the filmmakers pretty much made up their own version of reality.

ashton kutcher as steve jobs

I researched the film after I watched and learned the real truth of how things went down. I won’t bore you with the details but what I found most interesting was learning about Ronald Wayne, the third Apple founder. He was not mentioned in the film so let me tell you a little bit about him.

Ronald Wayne worked with Steve Jobs at Atari and helped create the first Apple logo. He was brought on board because he was older, wiser and trustworthy. His purpose was to act as mediator between the Steve’s on account of his older wisdom. He also wrote the Apple 1 manual, as well as the  partnership agreement. Three weeks after starting the company in Jobs basement, Wayne sold 10% of his stock for $800 because at 42, he was the only one who had assets that could potentially be seized if Apple didn’t work out. He would later receive $1500 to forfeit any claim against the company.

He would be worth $35 billion today if he didn’t walk out. Instead, he lives in a mobile home community.

This story makes me nauseous. Dude walked away from $35 BILLION because he was scared.

Of course he didn’t know that when they were working in the basement but the two younger fellas (Jobs and Wozniak) had no such fears. They were young (21 and 26, respectively) and they were free. Wayne was old and not-so-free.

And I get it. The older I get, the more I think about everything. And that’s BAD. It’s bad to over-think and always fear you’re making the wrong decision. Because not making a decision based on fear is, in fact, making a decision. And yet that is what I’ve been doing lately. I’ve been thinking and rethinking my next life steps and quite frankly, it’s getting exhausting. I want to be like my younger self and just do.

In case you’re wondering, my main source of frustration is whether or not I should write using my real name. If I use my real name, it will be on the internet FOREVER and my chances of getting a real job will go down substantially. I write about MS and ain’t nobody got time to hire a potentially fatigued sicky. On the other hand, being open may open up many new opportunities.

My fear makes me feel like Ronald Wayne and I don’t want to be Ronald Wayne.

I don’t want to and yet I still am. Looks like Doubt is killing my dream right now and I need some guidance.

Leave me a comment with some guidance. Should I risk my future employment to follow a dream that may not work out? Let’s talk about it below.

2 Comments on Doubt Kills More Dreams Than Failure Ever Could

  1. Jamileh
    August 20, 2013 at 7:48 pm (4 years ago)

    It doesn’t matter if you have the body of Stephen Hawking if you have a mind like his, too. You write beautifully. Follow your dreams.

    P.S. When are you bringing your dog back to Connie’s house?

    Reply
    • imtoofancy
      August 21, 2013 at 3:20 pm (4 years ago)

      Thank you, Jamileh! I appreciate you reading and leaving this lovely comment! I’m dipping my toes in the pool of dreams and I think I’m going to dive in eventually. 🙂 We will bring him there soon. Will let you know!

      Reply

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