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Free Drugs From Biogen!

freecandy

Today I was approved to be a part of the Free Drug program with Biogen. This means I will be getting my Tecfidera for FREE. Totally free. I’m glad the trend of getting my drugs for free continues.

Here is a tidbit of how that unicorn magic happened.

Linda: Diana, you’ve been approved to be a part of the Free Drug program. I’m going to read you a disclaimer to make sure you understand the rules.

Me: Sure.

Linda: Yadda, Yadda, Yadda, free drugs until September 2016.

Me: So, free?

Linda: Yes, free.

Me: As in zero dollars?

Linda: Yes. Free.

Me: I was just making sure we had the same definition of free. Thank you, Linda.

Linda: You’re welcome. Just let us know if anything changes.

Me: Nothing will change. Because FREE DRUGS!

Linda: Okay, goodbye ma’am.

Usually when you get approved for anything free it means you’re too po’ to afford it. And usually I would be ashamed to admit I am too po’ to afford it but not this time. Tecfidera costs $56K a year if you pay out of pocket. That is $4,666.66667 a month.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence there are so many 6’s in that number because that shit is devilish.

But it’s fine since I also know how expensive it is to bring a drug to market. Very expensive. Science isn’t cheap, my friends.

Now that I don’t have to worry about spending my hard earned money on my health, I will stress instead about the side effects of my free drugs. Flushing and gastrointestinal issues are the flavors of Tecfidera and this means I may be shitting my pants for two weeks while my body adjusts. My nether region will be out-of-service and I guess I’ll have to find another way… I always find another way. 

Mozel Tov and Shana Tova!

Biogen Tecfidera Free

 

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