Yesterday I wrote about my love for Justin Timberlake and today I am writing about my love for another man who is not my husband – acclaimed writer David Sedaris. The difference between the two is that I’ve actually met David Sedaris.
We met while he was on tour promoting his latest book, Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls. He was doing a reading at The Powerhouse Arena in DUMBO so I bought a ticket. Despite being a serious reader, I’ve never gone to a book reading before because I’ve never been interested enough in meeting the author or hearing them read. But David Sedaris? I was on it.
I went alone and actually waited about three hours after the reading to get my book signed. I’m also not a big line person and waiting for anything makes me feel like I might spontaneously combust. But again, this was David.
By the time I reached the front of the line, I was so caffeinated that I rambled on about how excited I was and how this was like meeting Justin Timberlake. His rep said, “Uh. This is better than Justin Timberlake.” Right. I mentally blamed the MS for making me say stupid shit and I berated myself for drinking too much coffee.
Then I met David and I continued to say stupid shit. He asked me what I’m working on so I told him.
“50 Shades of Grey was offensive to my eyes, mind, heart and soul so I’m writing my own sex novel. You inspired me.”
“I’ve read all of your books. You’re amazing. Your tone, your voice. Oh. YOU!”
I don’t remember his reaction but I’m almost certain his eyes said “Uh. Um. OKAY!”
Then he signed my books and it was over. I wanted to invite him to eat some Russian food with me and maybe smoke a dooby in Brooklyn Bridge Park because that would make an excellent story in his next book but Vinny said that was ultra creepy and so I opted against it.
I suppose my accelerated speech and slurring was delightful but likely only for him. I was embarressed and remained to be for hours after our meeting. But then I got over it like I do everything else and now I find delight and encouragement in his words about my sex book. I hope to one day finish it and become a billionaire.
David was kind enough to wait until everyone got their books signed, even those who didn’t purchase tickets for the event. He is a classy fella. So classy that there is a movie coming out based on one of his stories. I’m eh about it since he didn’t write the movie and also because the actor playing him looks nothing like him. Bah Hollywood.
Do you like David Sedaris? What is the longest you’ve ever waited to meet a writer/singer/dancer/celebrity/etc? Let’s talk about it in the comments!