Sign up. Get posts in your email. Live happily ever after.

A NY Icon Dies, Celebrities Get Bangs & Birth Babies, and Mean Girls Goes Disney on Links of the Week Roundup

Gus, the Bronx Zoo Polar Bear

This is a beautifully written farewell to Gus, the celebrity Bronx polar bear who passed away on Tuesday.  I never met the icon, but RIP buddy.

Check out the first issues of 10 famous magazines.

I have a strong desire to ruin my life and get bangs. This slideshow of 25 celebrities with bangs is inspiring but I know my hair will never look as good.

On a more serious note, there is a problem in Syria. A very big problem.  I have no opinion that I wish to share but just wanted you to know that I’m an intelligent woman with interests besides bangs.

Just kidding! Here are more celebrities with bangs.

Smart and successful women fascinate me so my new obsession is Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer.  She has man haters. Shocker.

Love having sex in public? So does this South Caronlina couple. They got busted for doing the nasty at Home Depot.

Fergie and Josh Duhamel had a baby boy and his name is Axl.

Ross Gellar (David Schwimmer) is moving to the East Village and this enraged all of the really cool people who currently live there.  Eh. Maybe it’s because he demolished an almost-landmarked building.

This is super adorbs. Like, super. Mean Disney Girls is a Youtube video of…you guessed it…Mean Girls starring Disney characters.

The cost of raising a baby is too damn high.

New York Then & Now is fun look at what once was and what now is.

i'm too fancy ms blog

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

An MS Poem by Val

Remember that time I showed off and published fan mail from Zohra to me? Well, I’m not done showing off. Today I bring you two poems by my best friend Val. This is significant because the poems are about me and were written shortly after I was diagnosed. Also because Val is an exceptional poet who has the ability to dig deep into the soul and find the perfect words to describe her complicated emotions. I hope she shares more with the public but until then, I’ll be forcing her to write poetry inspired by me since being a muse is a personal life goal of mine. Enjoy.

MS

my best friend has MS
not yet a Mrs. but she’s got stress
we make jokes and we progress
but when shit strikes then we regress
she’s the yin to my yang
the bread to my salty butter
she’s my sanity in times of trouble
but now she’s seeing double
I’m looking straight
ahead to the curved road
we both travel
and despite the gravel
it will be smooth for us

Miss Poet

“I’d rather be free than responsible” my friend said
Now go write me a poem Miss Poet
But that was before she was upset
Before the doctor told her
Why she was in bed
Before life became restrictive
Before drugs became addictive
“I’d rather be alive than free” my friend said
Now go write me a poem Miss Poet

Screen Shot 2013-08-13 at 12.21.13 PM copy

Us.

I love the poem and the way it intertwines the delicate nature of friendship and the many things that can go wrong in life. How about you?

i'm too fancy ms blog

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Can Long Distance Relationships Work? Yes, They Can

How to Be in a Long Distance Relationship, Do long distance relationships work?

Is physical closeness the only answer to a successful relationship? Experts say not really. Turns out it’s not about your geographical proximity to one another but how intimate you are with each other. Makes sense, doesn’t it?

A recent study in the Journal of Communication found that those in long distance relationships “felt as much or more trust and satisfaction” as their physically close counterparts. Like any relationship, near or far, the answer is communication. How often do you talk? And what do you talk about? Annoying passenger on the train? The wrath you feel for your coworker who “accidentally” called you out during a meeting with the boss? In fact, yes. Couples who share their days, even the minutia, are likelier to succeed.

The key, though, is to do so regularly. You want each other to know the mundane, even inane details, about your lives, says Robert Navarra, a California-based certified Gottman therapist for The Gottman Institute, a research, training and counseling center to promote better relationships.

The dry cleaning, your boss, what you had for lunch – who cares? Well, you should. Part of intimacy involves knowing the details of the other person’s daily life, big and small, because you’re that important to each other, Navarra explains. But it’s not so much about the daily accounting of groceries or child care or even the mechanics of each other’s jobs, as gauging each other’s emotional standing, he says.

– Source US News

Sounds complicated but life is such so if you want it bad enough, you can make it work. Just ask James and Jude, a lovely couple who fell in love on Tumblr. Yes, Tumblr. It makes sense since the vast amount of technology available today makes it easy to connect and stay connected. Check out their story on The Date Report because the two started out as strangers living more than 1000 miles away from each other and today they are engaged. Cue the awwwww.

Are you currently or have you ever been in a long distance relationship? Did it work? Let’s talk about it in the comments!

i'm too fancy ms blog

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

How to Be Happy When All You Want To Do Is Sleep All Day in the Fetal Position

how to overcome negative thoughts

I recently had a conversation with a friend about her life. She is presently unhappy and afraid of the future.

People ask me for advice all of the time because I have a knack for understanding and empathizing. Over time, I’ve learned that people will do what they want to do, whether it’s right or wrong. I’ve taken a back seat to navigating decisions and instead offer this gem that has helped me: go to therapy. And if you don’t want to go to therapy, read a self-help book. Too long? Visit a zen blog. Still too much? Search “positivity quotes” on Pinterest. Do anything besides listen to yourself. Please, for the love of Jesus, do anything besides listen to yourself.

When I told this to my pal, she was quick to be skeptical. “Are you going to tell me you’ve changed because of some book you read? Are you going to try to tell me you’re a happier person?”

Ab Lincoln Positivity Quotes, Positivity Quotes

Listen to Abe. He is smarter than you are.

It was a good question but my answer disappointed her. Yes, I did change and yes, I am a happier, more grateful person. Overtime I developed certain tools that help me look at situations from a different perspective.

Self-help blogs helped because they offered solutions that were outside the scope of my own thinking. Of course, a quote that says “be happy” won’t do anything significant but a blog post about what happy people do will. But only if you let it. You have to register the words, the meaning and the sentiment to make an active decision to follow the positive path and that’s all on you.

This doesn’t happen overnight, though. It’s a one-day-at-a-time process where you try to level out the negative thoughts with the logical thoughts. It’s about taking action and doing something proactive to feel better about yourself and your life.

how to stop being negative

I hate having the sads. I’ve spent my life fighting the sads and figuring out solutions to getting out of ruts. There were and probably will be days where I feel helpless, terrified and unsure. Negative thoughts enter my mind daily and swirl around like an angry shark-infested tornado looking to cause damage. It’s my choice whether or not I let them because the reality is that I am stronger and smarter than my ridiculous subconscious. I can overcome and so can you. Unless you can’t in which case it might be your fault.

Happiness is a choice. Feeling good is a choice. Everything is a choice. My MS isn’t a choice but how I live my life is. Eating healthy, working out, taking vitamins, stressing less – I made the decision to do those things. I am lucky to have Vinny’s support but even so, it’s up to me whether or not I do those things. And even so that too took a while. The path to clarity is sometimes a bumpy journey but that’s life, yo.

positivity quotes, Voltaire positivity

Listen to Voltaire. He is smarter than you are.

Jennifer Aniston recently agreed with me in her interview with Glamour. When Jason Sudeikis, her co-star in  “We’re the Millers”, asked her what she learned in her 30s, she said “Thirties. Thirties. Go to therapy. Clean up all of the sh-t. Clean up all of the toxins and the noise. Understand who you are. Educate yourself on the self.”

Well said, Jen. Well said.

i'm too fancy ms blog

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Beyonce Screams at P. Diddy. Inspires Blog Posts Around the World

Beyonce & Jay Z Party in NYC

via Gawker

I love how anything Beyonce does makes news. This time she yelled for a fight to stop at the Dream Downtown at the VMA after party. The reason this is more interesting than your average fight is because, DUH! Beyonce screamed. Also because the fighters in question were P. Diddy and some guy who got too close to P. Diddy.

After it was reported in the Daily News, Gawker went and created a one-act play with all of the characters involved in the scuffle. They really did a great job of making the entire fight come alive. It’s quite charming.

Persons Represented

Sean John Combs, a wealthy rapper, record producer, and the United States brand ambassador to Cîroc vodka.
Cassie Ventura, his girlfriend, a former dELiA*s model.
Jay-Z, his friend, a famous rapper and entrepreneur.
Beyoncé, Jay-Z’s wife.
J. Cole, a rapper.
Jamie Foxx, Pharrell, Will.i.am, Russell Simmons, Busta Rhymes, Bodyguard of Busta Rhymes, party guests.

ACT I

SCENE: Manhattan. The Ph-D rooftop lounge at the Dream Downtown hotel. A party is being held to mark the occasion of the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards. Many stars of videos are in attendance, and everyone smells good. SEAN JOHN COMBS and CASSIE VENTURA dance. VENTURA whips her sleek black hair over her bare shoulders and draws invisible hearts in the air above her head. COMBS mostly nods at VENTURA and at the room in general. He thinks about the 1970s, because he is 43.

Go on over to Gawker to read the entire play. It will be the best wasted minute of your day.

 

On Meeting David Sedaris

David Sedaris' Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

Yesterday I wrote about my love for Justin Timberlake and today I am writing about my love for another man who is not my husband  – acclaimed writer David Sedaris. The difference between the two is that I’ve actually met David Sedaris.

We met while he was on tour promoting his latest book, Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls. He was doing a reading at The Powerhouse Arena in DUMBO so I bought a ticket. Despite being a serious reader, I’ve never gone to a book reading before because I’ve never been interested enough in meeting the author or hearing them read. But David Sedaris? I was on it.

I went alone and actually waited about three hours after the reading to get my book signed. I’m also not a big line person and waiting for anything makes me feel like I might spontaneously combust. But again, this was David.

Powerhouse Arena, Brooklyn New York

By the time I reached the front of the line, I was so caffeinated that I rambled on about how excited I was and how this was like meeting Justin Timberlake. His rep said, “Uh. This is better than Justin Timberlake.” Right. I mentally blamed the MS for making me say stupid shit and I berated myself for drinking too much coffee.

Then I met David and I continued to say stupid shit. He asked me what I’m working on so I told him.

“50 Shades of Grey was offensive to my eyes, mind, heart and soul so I’m writing my own sex novel. You inspired me.”

And then:

“I’ve read all of your books. You’re amazing. Your tone, your voice. Oh. YOU!”

I don’t remember his reaction but I’m almost certain his eyes said “Uh. Um. OKAY!”

Then he signed my books and it was over. I wanted to invite him to eat some Russian food with me and maybe smoke a dooby in Brooklyn Bridge Park because that would make an excellent story in his next book but Vinny said that was ultra creepy and so I opted against it.

David Sedaris Signed Book

i don’t know what this means.

I suppose my accelerated speech and slurring was delightful but likely only for him. I was embarressed and remained to be for hours after our meeting. But then I got over it like I do everything else and now I find delight and encouragement in his words about my sex book. I hope to one day finish it and become a billionaire.

David Sedaris Book Signing

Do not open if you want to keep your hands connected to your body.

David was kind enough to wait until everyone got their books signed, even those who didn’t purchase tickets for the event. He is a classy fella. So classy that there is a movie coming out based on one of his stories. I’m eh about it since he didn’t write the movie and also because the actor playing him looks nothing like him. Bah Hollywood.

Do you like David Sedaris? What is the longest you’ve ever waited to meet a writer/singer/dancer/celebrity/etc? Let’s talk about it in the comments!

i'm too fancy ms blog

Enter your email address:Delivered by FeedBurner

An Ode to Justin Timberlake

This year, Justin Timberlake held a 20 minute concert at Barclay Center and let MTV pass out some awards when he wasn’t wowing us with his singing and crisp dance moves. They called it the MTV Video Music Awards but we all know it was the Justin Timberlake Performs and Wins an MJ Award Show.

It reminded me (and everyone else) of the Beyonce concert during last years football game. Both legends performed like the rock stars that they are and both let their less successful former band mates join them for a “reunion.” I enjoyed both performances but this post is dedicated to my homeboy Justin Timberlake so let’s move on, shall we?

Like men who love big butts, I simply cannot lie. I love Justin Timberlake. I love him in ways that may be weird since he is who he is and I am…pretty much a creepy stalker.

But who cares?! I’ve been thisclose but not close enough to Justin Timberlake three times in my life and all three times were life changing.

The first time was when I was a youngen (but really, still much too old) and I stood outside TRL Live to catch a glimpse of JT’s glorious curls and all-around handsome face. He was there with *NSYNC but I was there for him and he knew it. I know he knew because when he looked out the floor-to-ceiling window overlooking Times Square, he looked at me. ME. Only me. We had a moment. It felt like I took a shot of expensive vodka because that moment certainly warmed my teenage heart.

Justin Timberlake and Nsync at TRL Live

March 22, 2000

The second time was at Yankee Stadium at the Legends of Summer Tour with Jay Z. I’m not much of a concert goer but this was the best concert I’ve ever been to. Seriously. Thanks to a kind seat neighbor who shared his inventory of goodies, I was able to enjoy Justin on a more spiritual level. Maybe it’s because I was feeling so spiritual that I am certain Justin was singing directly to me. Forget it! I know it’s true because I saw him look out into the audience and wink at me. Okay, fine I saw this on the jumbo screen because I wasn’t close enough but I was more than 100 yards away as per the restraining order. Joke! Restraining order states I should be 200 yards away, which I clearly was.

The third time was yesterday when he performed at Barclay Center. I live 3.69 miles away (coincidence? I think not) from the center and when I stepped outside, I could feel us sharing the same oxygen. Then I smelled something rotting but that was just Miley Cyrus’ career. Back to JT. We were THISmotherfuckingCLOSE. And yet still so far. His performed for twenty minutes and I paid attention the entire time. Because that’s what love is – paying attention when all you want to do is tweet how much you love JT. You can watch the entire performance here. I wasn’t able to post the entire video because it crashed WordPress. It was that awesome.

Justin Timberlake GIF

And then he did that dance move which I consider flirting.

justin timberlake dancing

And then he smiled at me. ME. Only me.

cute justin timberlake gif

Okay, I’m off to take my anti-delerium meds.

nsync reunion gifs

There you have it. I’m obsessed with Justin Timberlake and I can’t help it. How about you? Are you a fan or do you have awful taste and think he should sit down and be quiet?

i'm too fancy ms blog

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

A Slutty Sinkhole, Kanye Talks Kim K & Other Stories on Links of the Week Roundup

Why are people with other people? Love. It’s all about love.

Speaking of love…people love their cats and this is about sociopathic cats who kill.

I disconnected from Facebook for 35 days and it was the best thing I’ve ever done.

This shit is fucking crazy. A sinkhole named Bayou Corne Sinkhole in Louisiana swallowed an entire town. LOL. Bayou Corne is a slut.

Here is a spinach mushroom brie stuffed tomato recipe.

So you have a friend who works from home. Here’s how not to be a dick to her.

Body language matters. 5 Body Language Poses That Can Sabotage Success will have you thinking twice about that head title thing you do.

This silly fella posted pictures of his drugs and guns on Instagram. Is shocked when he gets arrested.

Have sexier sexy time using your iPhone.

I’m not a mom (nor am I in any danger of becoming one) but this blog, Motherhood in NYC, looks like a good time.

A Breaking Bad and R. Kelly’s “Ignition” mashup proves that some people have way too much time on their hands.

Thanks for reading and have a great weekend!

i'm too fancy ms blog

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Good Story, Bro

Funny blogs
Vinny and I spend a lot of time together and oftentimes we tell each other things that the other person simply doesn’t care about. When we don’t care, we respond accordingly.

Example:

Diana: Hey babe. I’m going to Walgreens to pick up some toilet paper.

Vinny: Good story, bro.

OR

Diana: I was a tomboy when I was little. Loved to play in dirt. Makes sense, right? But that’s why I love nature so much! And being dirty. Washing your hands is just so overrated.

Vinny: Good story, bro.

Followed by

Vinny: Don’t touch me.

We “good story, bro” each other and it’s usually a good time. Except the most recent time. This is what happened.

Vinny walked into the living room where I was busy living and watching TV. He held one hand to his throat and wore a sad face.

Vinny: My throat hurts. I don’t feel well.

Diana: Good story, bro.

Wrong thing to say. Not because it was a fascinating story but because he wasn’t feeling well and it was my job to make him feel better. I quickly backtracked.

Diana: I’m sorry! Tell me more about your throat pain! I want to know.

It was too late. Vinny was over me being over his throat and was too busy ignoring me.

Fine. Whatever.

I got what I deserved anyway because now I’m sick. I sneezed four times this morning. IN A ROW.

The moral of this story is when your husband comes to tell you he doesn’t feel well, don’t talk. Just leave the room because talking spreads germs.

7 Ways To Overcome Anger without Going to Jail

5 ways to overcome anger

I’ve always been somewhat of a moody person and now I know why: my happiness neurotransmitters hate me. While I’ve learned to  manage my feelings in an effort to reduce stress, I sometimes still find myself looking around and thinking to myself, “if only murdering you wouldn’t send me past Go and directly to jail…”

I’ve never killed anyone, though, because there are cameras everywhere and I’d probably get caught. I also have balance issues and would probably fall into the blood, not notice and subsequently leave a path to my hideout. In addition, it’s just not nice to murder someone just because they cut you off or because they got your food order wrong. Even if their only job is to get your food order correct.

Of course, a lot of times the anger is directed at myself and that’s the worst. You know, because I’m not flexible enough to kick myself in the face.  But if therapy has taught me anything, it’s that it is not what happens to you but how you react. Over the years, I’ve developed a solid list of stress-reducing reactions. These are a few of the things I do to help me respond to life like a normal human and not an uncontrollable sexy vampire out for blood.

Walk it out

I like to walk my dog, Ninja. Ninja is a stunning creature and puts a smile on anyone who passes him. Usually seeing how happy he makes other people makes me happy that he is mine. His face also makes me feel calmer because he loves unconditionally and we can all learn a thing or two about that.

Figure out the source

I like to figure out what’s making me feel so blue. And by that I mean I obsess over my problem until I figure out a solution. I like to do this while I’m walking Ninja.

Let’s drink, shall we?

I love sangria. Drinking it gives me a headache because it’s too damn sweet but once I get past that and am comfortably tipsy, I forget  about the headache and the problem. Avoid drinking if your doctor, nutrionist or AA sponsor objects but once in a while, we all just need to forget about life and get drunk.

Let’s drink some more, shall we?

If I’m obsessing figuring out the root of my anger while at home, I sometimes opt to drink some chamomile tea. It has healing properties and acts as a mild muscle relaxant that can help relieve stress, anxiety and even depression. It might even put you to sleep and if you’re sleeping you can’t be angry. Unless your subconscious hates you too and you dream about what’s making you angry. But don’t think about that. Just drink the tea and it will all be okay.

Let’s talk it through

I like to talk mad shit about the person who is pissing me off to my bestie. If I’m right, she will agree but if I’m wrong she will tell it to me straight. Either way I always feel better after a chat with my bestie.

Talk to myself in a reasonable and calm voice

I like to engage in some good ole’ fashioned cognitive therapy. This is my favorite because it lasts the longest. Basically I just try to talk my way out of a bad mood with logic. What’s logic? Not really sure but I think it’s when you use only the facts without adding any of your own personal stories you make up in your mind.

Let’s get physical

Sometimes I like to work out to calm down. Just kidding! This is what experts recommend but I’ve never found it to work for me. Yoga is too slow and annoys me and anything too physical annoys me as well. The only time I workout to get rid of a bad mood is if I feel the need to leave the house or if I’m in a bad mood because I haven’t been working out. This is rare since I rather talk, walk and drink.

7 way to control your anger

How do you deal with anger? Tell me in the comments!

1 4 5 6 7 8