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The Dreams I Used To Have

Flying Squirrel on i'm too fancy

I: The Flying Dream

I’ve turned right out of my building and I’m trying to fly to the corner. But I can’t fly. I use every ounce of my energy to lift off but I never make it anywhere. I’m basically jumping and then flying two inches.

Other people are able to fly high. I don’t see them but I know flying is a thing and others are doing it better.

I wake up defeated. Angry. Upset. I hate this dream.

II: The Quicksand Dream

I’ve turned a right out of my building but I can’t walk. I am in quicksand. I lift my legs but I barely move forward.

Other people are not in quicksand. I don’t see them but I know walking on asphalt is a thing and others are walking freely.

I wake up feeling defeated. Angry. Upset. I hate this dream more.

The frustrating part is that I’m trying to go the right way. Do you know how hard it is to walk in quicksand when you have somewhere to be? Like trying to walk around tourists in Time Square during winter break when you have an interview in five minutes but you’re four blocks away. The struggle is real.

Theses dreams plagued me for years. YEARS. I’ve had them for so long that I don’t know when they started.

But I do know when they stopped.

After I was diagnosed with MS. I shit thee not. While I still have flying dreams, I am able to lift off and fly a longer distance before gravity pulls me back to earth. Now I feel semi-accomplished when I wake.

I think it’s pretty fucking awesome that my brain knew something was wrong before my body caught up with a symptom. It’s like my brain was trying to tell me something but my body laughed and said “Haha! Not yet, grasshopper. Not yet.”

That’s all.

Sleep tight, lovelies. May you dream only of gold glitter, rainbows and unicorns.

2 Comments on The Dreams I Used To Have

  1. Charlene
    August 30, 2015 at 5:14 am (2 years ago)

    Dreams are the windows to our lives, past and present! They always have a meaning. Crazy making that connection after all those years! You so smart grasshopper.

    Reply
  2. imtoofancy
    September 1, 2015 at 3:48 pm (2 years ago)

    I’m the smartest grasshopper ALIVE! LOL. Thanks, Charlene. <3

    Reply

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