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When Life Gives You Lemons…

i'm too fancy

  1. They are probably spoiled as fuck. They are probably not good enough for lemonade. They are probably not even good enough to be used as weapon to throw at your husbands.
  2. Some coffee shops don’t approve of you speaking on your phone. But what is the difference between my phone call and the loud conversations people have with no respect for others? What about mothers with squealing babies? These things are also desruptive. If I can’t conduct a business call while sipping on overpriced coffee, there should be a SHUT THE FUCK UP NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE rule at coffee shops.
  3. If you are a feminist, you believe in the equal rights for women AND men. So why is  there no outrage that some pap got a photo of Justin Bieber’s wanker? Just because he is a guy? That is messed up. If we want equality for the sexes, a nude photo of Justin should inspire the same outrage as a nude photo of Jennifer Lawrence. For the record, I look at ALL naked celeb pictures. Because EQUALITY. :::air fist pump:::
  4. The only thing I miss about high school is my attention span. I was able to sit and write for hours and hours and hours. Maybe because I didn’t have many friends? No, it’s because I had PASSION. Now I need a pill for passion but even then it’s not that effective. RIP passion brain cells. I miss you so much. I wish you were still around so we could cuddle and create masterpieces together.
  5. I once told my fathers friend that I was writing a book. I was probably 18 when I said that and now whenever he sees me, he asks about my book. Last time he saw me, he mentioned that he’d looked for my book at the store. He thought I had written it long ago. This is the quickest way to a brief period of depression – being reminded of a dream not yet accomplished.
  6. I would like to write a book but please refer to #4.
  7. I’m a big believer that if you want something badly enough, you will make it happen. But whatever, refer to #4 again. I lost my passion brain cells and I don’t know how to get them back.
  8. Working out would probably help. Working out actually makes me super excited, which is odd since i loathe organized physical activity. I guess that is science working my body without permission.
  9. Another quick way to get depressed is to know you have the power to change but you’re too lazy to do it.
  10. I was stable before my energy wrote this post. Now I want to go hug myself. Maybe even say a few kind words to myself. Like, it’s okay you haven’t worked hard on your dream. Don’t cry. No, really. Please stop crying.
  11. I’m not really crying.
  12. Yet. My tears have a mind of their own. They do as they please, like a cat.

Hope you’re enjoying your day off celebrating a sadistic rapist murderer who didn’t even discover America. And I’m not talking about the natives who lived here first. That bro landed on the Bahamas and never even stepped a murderous foot on North “American” soil. Bro thought he was in Asia till the day he died in shame and poverty. Rapist bro most likely brought syphilis to Europe. Bro doesn’t deserve a national holiday, although his way really is the American way.

2 Comments on When Life Gives You Lemons…

  1. Char to the Lene
    October 13, 2015 at 2:47 am (3 years ago)

    I’m waiting for you to write about the squeling babies you mentioned!

    • imtoofancy
      October 13, 2015 at 12:50 pm (3 years ago)

      I love the babies! And I’ve been trying to write about your baby, the one and only Queen Anisah. 🙂


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